Attention citizens of SF: Baseball Bat Menace is on the Hunt

SAN FRANCISCO — A man was critically injured when he was attacked with a baseball bat in San Francisco’s Parkside neighborhood on Tuesday afternoon, police
said today.

The attack was reported at about 2 p.m. in the 2400 block of Taraval Street, where the 39-year-old victim was struck multiple times in the head and arms, according to police.

The suspect, a man believed to be around 40 years old, fled after the attack and had not been found as of this morning, police said.

The victim was taken to the hospital to be treated for life-threatening injuries, according to police.

Anyone with information about the attack is asked to call the Police. By Candice Naranjo


I hope the victim is okay, but this is some shit outta the movie, The Warriors. Apparently this suspect thinks he’s apart of the Baseball Furies and he’s living in NYC where gangs have taken over the city. Sounds pretty awesome to me. After I watched The Warriors, I wanted to join a gang. Then about 10 minutes later, I realized that I live in a civilized country where I don’t have to join a gang. This guy never came to that realization. So what does he do? He bops a random guy on the head with a baseball bat. This ain’t no disco, this ain’t no party, and this certainly ain’t no foolin around. So we have 2 options here. 1. We join him and form a real life Baseball Fury gang. 2. We form our own gang, manhunt him, and give him a taste of his own medicine. Unfortunately, option #2 is not realistic because we don’t have a sketch of what he looks like, so we are stuck with option #1. The Baseball Furies of San Francisco are at large…


By: Dago Joe


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