The Greatest Kickball Team Ever

HERMOSILLO, Mexico (AP) — Parents in the Mexican state of Sonora will no longer be allowed to name their children “Facebook,” ”Rambo” or 59 other now banned given names.

The names have been found at least once in state registries. And the list could grow because officials are still checking the state’s 132 newborn registries, Sonora state Civil Registry director Cristina Ramirez said Tuesday.

The law banning a list of 61 odd or offensive names took effect Monday. It seeks to protect children from being bullied, Ramirez said.

“The law is very clear because it prohibits giving children names that are derogatory or that don’t have any meaning and that can lead to bullying,” she said.

Ramirez said that in the town of Navojoa a boy was recently named “Juan Calzon,” or “Juan Panties,” and a girl was named “Lady Di.”

Other odd names include a girl called “Marciana,” or “Martian,” and a boy called “Circuncision,” or “Circumcision.”

Sonora is across the border from the U.S. state of Arizona.

By Mario Sevilla

Introducing the greatest kickball team ever. The Sonora Kickball Team.

1. RAMBO, Pitcher

rambo

2. Marvin the Martian, Center Field

marvin

3. Facebook, 2nd Base

markz

4. Circumcision, 3rd Base

smegma

5. Brock Landers, Short Stop

brock_landers

6. Hulk Hogan, 1st Base

hulk1 hulk2

7. Bill Clinton, Left Field

bill1

bill2

8. Babe Ruth, Catcher

babe

9. Bruce Springsteen, Right Field

bruce1

1. Rambo dealing fastballs at 130 MPH, change ups at 100 MPH, and curves at 90 MPH. Need I mention he is 50/50 at bat with 30 HR’s this season?

2. Marvin the Martian, the fastest guy on the field, robbing people all day in center and slap-kicking singles every at bat.

3. Minus Zuckerberg at 2nd, the team is absolutely stacked. Zuckerberg could end up being like David Eckstein and be a gamer who has to use all of his will to throw the ball from short stop to 1st base. So, I put Zuckerberg at 2nd.

4. Circumcision, saving his team from venereal diseases and kicking triples as well as he chops off foreskin.

5. Brock Landers, the Kung Fu King hasn’t had an error in his 20 seasons at SS and has perfected the ground rule double.

6. Hulk Hogan, behind Rambo, he is the most feared man on the field. He either strikes out or kicks home runs (striking out rarely). He also doesn’t let anyone touch 1st base without kicking them in the nuts. Cup Check!

7. Bill Clinton smoking doobies in left and creating positive friendships with the fans is the greatest PR move in Sonora Kickball history.

8. Babe Ruth at Catcher. The Sultan of Swat, The King of Crash, The Collossus of Clout…need I say more…

9. The Boss in right field. When the highway’s jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive, the Boss is there to help. Bruce is by far the clutchest player on the team. He has kicked 30 walk off HR’s this season.

To any opponents of the Sonora Kickball team, I say “good luck”.

By: Dago Joe

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