USA Hockey vs. Slovakia Recap


Jaroslav Halak. How did it feel to get to get embarrassed, dominated, and bent over in front of the entire world? In case you don’t know who he is, he is the Slovakian goalie. Team USA put in 5 goals on the poor bastard. Slovakia looked like the NY Rangers on October 8 against the Sharks (except the Sharks put in 9). Halak is lucky Tomas Hertl isn’t American…

Wow did Team USA look good. They looked as good as Margot Robbie did in Wolf of Wall Street…



…..Stunning the entire world. Here are the highlights…

Congrats to John Carlson, Ryan Kesler, David Backes, Phil Kessel (who’s sister is on the women’s team), and Paul Stastny for scoring goals. Stastny recorded 2 goals against his father’s country of origin. Jonathan Quick finished with 22 saves and Slovakia was blatantly offsides on the only one he let by. All in all, the US played fast, hit well, and capitalized on all of their opportunities. Their chemistry was supreme and will continue to grow as the tournament continues. After watching that game, I’m sure other countries are shitting their pants right now. I’m looking forward to watching Team USA take on Russia tomorrow morning. I have a good feeling about the game.



By: Dago Joe


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