L Taraval Shuts Down…I talk about Muni Lines and Cool SF Bums

SAN FRANCISCO — A water main break in San Francisco’s Parkside neighborhood this afternoon is disrupting Municipal Railway light-rail service in the area, utility and Muni officials said.

Muni officials issued an alert on Twitter at 1:48 p.m. about a main break at 15th Avenue and Ulloa Street that is affecting the agency’s L-Taraval line.

Light-rail vehicles on the L-Taraval line are stopping at the West Portal station and bus shuttles are taking passengers the rest of the way along the route, Muni officials said.

The main that broke was a 6-inch pipe on 15th Avenue, San Francisco Public Utilities Commission spokeswoman Amy Sinclair said.

SFPUC crews responded and stopped the flow of water from the pipe as of about 2:50 p.m., Sinclair said.

She said water service is out on 15th Avenue between Ulloa and Taraval streets while crews make repairs to the pipe.

By Candice Naranjo

This is funny. If you are white and you have ever ridden the K, L, or M, you know damn well that the odds of you being the only white person on the train is between 75% and 80%. It’s like when you hop on one of those lines you feel like Dirk Nowitzki in China. Only difference is that they know you’re not Dirk so your shit-outta-luck. Instead of being treated like a basketball star, you just get a ton of odd stares and mean mugs. Meanwhile, the lady next to you coughs into her SARS mask and the old, wrinkly guy on the other side of you wearing an Arizona Diamondbacks hat (of course he has no clue what team it is) hocks a loogie right in front of your beat up Nikes. You also feel outta place for not having a pink grocery bag filled with fish and stinking up the entire train. If anyone is gonna comment on this post and say I’m racist, then YOU are ignorant. Go ride one of those lines and tell me different.

sars

I take the K-Ingleside home all the time and I know that I am going to be outnumbered 100 to 1. If you’re riding the L, you might be lucky enough to ride next to Boxcar Larry. Boxcar Larry is the white alcoholic bum that can be found panhandling outside the Walgreens on 21st and Taraval. He is an angry drunk and can be frequently seen with a black eye or a bloody lip because he trash talked someone for not giving him money. He has white long hair, a white beard, and a raspy ass voice.

boxcarlarry

THROWBACK BOXCAR LARRY (with a stolen watch)

Boxcar Larry isn’t half as cool as Jackson. Jackson is black and got his name because he is from Jackson, Mississippi. Whether or not he’s homeless is questionable, but he is always seen wearing a black wool coat, black shades (even at night), and a black Kongol hat (but he wears it forwards unlike Samuel L). He has gray hair, and a gray goatee, and he is usually selling Street Sheets outside of what used to be St. Francis Market on West Portal. Jackson is a cool bum. Nice guy, I always used to give him my change after buying 40’s with my fake ID in high school from St. Francis. I haven’t seen him in awhile but it’s always great running into him.

This brings me to Nate (RIP). Nate was the dirtiest bum west of Twin Peaks. He was always so fucked up that he was constantly drooling. Nate was located on Ocean Avenue usually outside of a Chinese restaurant, drooling, drinking, and wearing a big black puffy jacket (no matter the weather). Before we were old enough to even look 21 or have enough money for a fake ID, we would give Nate money to buy us 40’s. He would look at us and I swear, every time, he stared 1,000 miles behind us, but his hearing must’ve been on point. He would stumble across the street and bring himself together to buy up for us. We would usually give him an extra $5. What would he spend it on? Mad Dog 20/20 Bling Bling. Unlike any other bum, Nate rocked a bottle with a Bling Bling necklace and created BumSwag as we know it. Wine coolers define BumDrunk, but drinking a wine cooler with a gold necklace on it is like wearing a fake rolex to career day at your Alma Mater…You’re immediately the coolest guy around.

High School student: “Excuse me, sir, that’s a nice watch you got on there. Maybe one day, when I become a millionaire, I can get one of those.”  

Bum: “Ayy Nate, that bottle is cool, man. I like the gold. You been saving up?”

Whether it’s a Mad Dog 20/20 Bling Bling or a fake rolex, people will compliment, and people will want what you have. Thanks Nate for teaching me a life long lesson. Next time I’m getting BumDrunk, I’ll pour one out for you. Rest in Peace.

md2020

Welcome to San Francisco: Land of Cool Bums and Chinese People!

By: Dago Joe

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