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HBO Shows: Best Opening Songs

1. The Sopranos: “Woke Up This Morning”-Alabama 3

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2. Generation Kill: “Shuffle Your Feet”-Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

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3. True Detective: “Far From Any Road”-The Handsome Family

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4. Eastbound and Down: “Goin Down”-Freddie King

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5. Hung: “I’ll Be your Man”-The Black Keys

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6. Lucky Louie: Mark Rivers

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7. Boardwalk Empire

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8. Game of Thrones

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9. Entourage: “Superhero”-Jane’s Addiction

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10. Angry Boys

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Runner Ups

Flight of the Conchords

Hard Knocks (0.30)

By: Dago Joe

Smokes at The Oscars

The Oscars were absolutely boring. Holy shit, probably the worst Oscars I’ve ever seen. Maybe I was just pissed that Marty Scorcese didn’t win anything for Wolf of Wall Street and same with Leo. They both got hosed. The Academy is a bunch douchebags anyways. That movie is way ahead of their time. I thought the selfie was pretty funny and the pizza delivery, but everything else was pretty shitty. Oh and of course Matt Mcconaughey quoting his character, David Wooderson, from Dazed and Confused at the end of his speech…”Alright, alright, alright”

But now lets look at the top 5 smokes…

1. Jessica Biel

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2. Angelina Jolie

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3. Kate Hudson

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4. Jennifer Lawrence

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5. Sandra Bullock

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By: Dago Joe

SOMF

The Oscar-nominated actress dishes with TheWrap at screening of her latest film “The Last Five Years,” co-starring Jeremy Jordan

Anna Kendrick was all smiles as a small, urgent flurry of flashbulbs popped before her, and she was quite genuinely happy to be reunited with the creative team from her upcoming film, an adaptation of the Off-Broadway musical “The Last Five Years.” But, the straight shooter that she is, Kendrick was also blunt about her recent run of musical films — and her desire to give her vocal chords a break.

“I never want to sing again, honestly. It’s hard as f-ck,” the actress, who starred on Broadway as a 12-year-old, admitted to TheWrapat a distributor screening of her film at Lincoln Center on Monday night. “The ‘Pitch Perfect’ [sequel] is going to be fine, ten girls have to be able to sing the songs so it’s going to be fine, but doing ‘The Last Five Years’ and then ‘Into the Woods’ straight away, I was like, I don’t want to have to think about my voice so much. I want to be able to drink beer whenever I want.” By Jordan Zakarin

Anna Kendrick. Wow. Talk about a straight shooter. She’s a chick I would like to be around. Wouldn’t you? You know she can drink you under the table, but you don’t care. You don’t care that she could beat your ass and you don’t care that she slaps you in the face in public for drinking like a pussy. It’s all a turn-on. And just when you think you’re cool enough to even hang out with her, you decide to ask her out. What does she do? She explodes with laughter and spits the beer in her mouth, in your face, while you sit there like a dumbass. You say, why not? She then burps so close to your mouth that you taste it, and you kinda like it, and she says, “honey, I just looked at you like one of my girlfriends. You poor thing.”

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By: Dago Joe

SEGA Genesis vs Nintendo

Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg are teaming up to make a movie about Blake Harris’ novel, Console Wars, that focuses on the battle between Sega and Nintendo in the 90’s.

I owned both of these consoles, so I made a list of their top 5 games in no particular order.

NES top 5 games…

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1.Duckhunt
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2. Super Mario Bros 3

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3. Paper Boy

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4. The Legend of Zelda

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5. Super Mario Bros 2

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VS.

SEGA Genesis top 5 games…

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1. Sonic The Hedgehog 2

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2. Earthworm Jim

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3. Streets of Rage 2

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4. Mortal Kombat 2

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5. Streetfighter 2

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There’s no winner here. Both systems ruled and both defined the nightlife of my childhood, along with Laser Tag.

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By: Dago Joe

RIP Harold Ramis

CHICAGO (AP) — An attorney for Harold Ramis says the actor has died.

Fred Toczek tells The Associated Press that Ramis died early Monday morning from complications of autoimmune inflammatory disease. He was 69.

Ramis is best known for his roles in the comedies “Ghostbusters” and “Stripes.”

According to Biography.com, Ramis co-wrote “Ghostbusters,” in which he appeared with fellow Second City alums Dan Aykroyd and Bill Murray.

The website says he also co-wrote “National Lampoon’s Animal House” and “Meatballs” and directed such films as “Caddyshack” and “Groundhog Day.” By Brian Shields

Dr. Egon Spengler, Ghostbusters

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Director of Caddyshackharold2

“Cannon ball comin…or just get weird with somebody.”

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Writer, Back to School“They’re takin a break!”

Writer, Animal House 

By: Dago Joe

A Roller Coaster Ride with the Warriors

Last night at Oracle was Wilt Chamberlain bobble head night, which was fitting. What was even more fitting…Mo Speights having the game of his life against his old team. Speights went 12 of 15 from the field with 32 points. Off topic, Mo really needs to do something about that wart or whatever the fuck that is on his head. That thing has taken on an identity of its own. I heard it goes by the nickname “Mort” these days. Short for Mort the Wart. Mort is a little bit shy and tends to hide from photographers. However, he can be seen in these 2 photos chillin with Mo on the top right portion of his head…

Mo Speights1mospeights2Mo could take a note from Uncle Buck… “Not her wart. Not her wart. I’m..I’m the wart. She’s my tumor, my, my growth. My uh my pimple.I’m “Uncle WarT”. Just old Buckwart Russell. That’s what they call me. Or, a, melanoma head. They’ll call me that. “Melanoma head’s” comin.”

Uncle Buck rules…now back to the Dubs.

The Dubs beat the Sixers last night 123-80, but lets not get too excited, it was only the Sixers. I’m proud of Mo and Mort, but we have issues to deal with right now. The past 5 games have been a roller coaster. Beat the Jazz 95-90, lose to the Bobcats 91-75, beat the Bulls 102-87, lose to the Suns 122-109. So after our win over the Sixers last night, we are destined to lose to Bron Bron and the Heat tomorrow night.

Against the Bobcats on Tuesday, February 4th, Oakland transformed into Turnover City after the Dubs turned the ball over 16 times. David Lee wasn’t fully healthy and Harrison Barnes didn’t play to his full potential. Regardless, 16 turnovers was a recipe for destruction. The Bulls game was an entirely different story. With Bogut and Lee out, the team showed character and rallied to comeback and win 102-87. It was also great to see Draymond Green dunk on Joakim Noah and go nuts afterwards. Then a loss to the Suns and a win over the Sixers continued the up-and-down roller coaster ride with the Dubs.

Problems

1. Bogut is out with a left shoulder injury and will not be playing against the Heat tomorrow.

2. Jermaine O’Neal will sit another one out with his newly repaired right wrist.

3. David Lee still isn’t fully healthy and is expected to play C tomorrow night with Draymond Green at PF.

4. Harrison Barnes is lacking consistency.

The good thing is that the All Star Break is right around the corner and injured players will have some time to rest. I hope we don’t continue this pattern and we are able to upset the Heat at home tomorrow night.

By: Dago Joe

NHL Break

In less than 48 hours, the USA hockey team will take on Slovakia, and I can’t wait. This NHL break is killing me. Without hockey, I’m like a pet without an owner. Simply lost. I feel like Shadow did when Peter ditched him to go to Canada in Homeward Bound 2…

…Sad, Angry, Lost, Frustrated, and Forgotten.

I’ve been hockey-less since this past Friday when the Sharks beat the Blue Jackets at home. The Sharks went into the break with a 2 game winning streak after their OT win against the Stars on Wednesday, February 5th. Tommy Wingels’ top shelf winning goal was awesome and I love beating Dallas as much as I love beating LA. That was a bold statement, I take that back. I can’t fuckin stand LA. I hate the Kings and I hate the fact that I have to cheer for Dustin Brown and Jonathan Quick in a couple of days. Kings fans might be the biggest jokes in all of sports. There is a reason that “bandwagon” appears on google search after typing in “LA Kings fans”.

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However, they aren’t as douchey as Canucks fans. Canucks fans suck the most. Such obnoxious assholes. The Canucks’ fans almost took over the Tank when the Sharks lost to the Canucks in the 2011 Conference Finals. How this happened, I don’t know. But, they were loud and they loved to argue as much as I did. When we got knocked out, all I wanted to do is punch one of them square in the jaw and watch his knees buckle below him before he cracked his head open on the pavement and began to bleed out. Too far? The Sharks ended up doing that for me when they swept the Canucks this past playoffs. This brings me to another player I can’t stand cheering for. Ryan Kessler. That dirty little bastard. I used to hate Torres as much as I hated him, but Torres joined the good side, and Kessler is and will always be a punk.

“I’m the #1 douchiest hockey fan!”

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It is important to realize that Brown and Kessler are now playing for Team USA. After the Olympics are over, my hatred will continue. But for now, DUCKS FLY TOGETHER.

By: Dago Joe

The Man, the Myth, the Legend: Clint Eastwood

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PEBBLE BEACH, Calif. (AP) — Clint Eastwood added another starring role at the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am — life saver.

Eastwood attended a volunteer party on the eve of the PGA Tour event when he noticed tournament director Steve John choking on a piece of cheese. The 83-year-old actor quickly performed the Heimlich maneuver Wednesday night at the Monterey Conference Center.

“I was drinking water and eating these little appetizers, threw down a piece of cheese and it just didn’t work,” John said Friday. “I was looking at him and couldn’t breathe. He recognized it immediately and saved my life.” By Candice Naranjo

San Francisco native and original Hollywood badass, Clint Eastwood, saving lives like it’s his job. If I saw someone choking to death, there’s no doubt, I would probably say “are you choking?”.  After hearing no response, I wouldn’t know what the fuck to do, and probably watch the poor person choke to death. But NOW I do. Thank you sincerely, Mr. Eastwood. I’m practicing my heimlich maneuver right now on Betty (my blowup doll). I don’t think she likes it too much.

By: Dago Joe

RIP Philip Seymour Hoffman

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Oscar-winning actor Philip Seymour Hoffman was found dead of an apparent heroin overdose — with a hypodermic needle still stuck in his arm — at his Greenwich Village apartment Sunday, authorities said. He was 46.

The acclaimed screen and stage star was discovered in his underwear on the bathroom floor of his $9,800-a-month rental after missing a morning appointment to pick up his three young kids from their mother, his longtime girlfriend, Mimi O’Donnell, law-enforcement sources said.

Philip Seymour Hoffman’s New York City apartment building, Pickwick House, where the actor was found dead earlier today.Photo: Getty Images

He was declared dead at the scene, a needle in his left forearm. A source said it was clear that the “Capote’’ star had been dead “for hours.”

Hoffman — a versatile and prolific actor famed for his vivid portrayals of troubled souls — had repeatedly struggled with substance abuse. He spent 10 days in rehab last year for abusing prescription pills and heroin after 23 years of sobriety.

Cops found five empty glassine envelopes in a garbage can, two more under the bed and one on a table in the apartment, along with a charred spoon in the kitchen sink, sources said.

“He was shooting up in the bathroom,” a law-enforcement source said.

By:  Larry CelonaBruce GoldingMara Siegler and Emily Smith

February 2, 2014 | 1:28pm

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Philip you will be greatly missed. I can’t say I’ve seen too many of your movies, but Boogie Nights is in my top 5. You’re not an idiot and rest easy Phil…

Not creepy at all…

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“It’s my big dick and I say when we roll. You know what? I’m the biggest star here, man. That’s the way it is! I want to fuck! It’s my big dick! So, everybody get ready fuckin’ NOW!”

Who Surfed Better?

JJ Watt at the Pro Bowl…

Or Beyonce at the Grammys…

I’ve watched Beyonce’s performance about 50 times now, and she’s a hard 10 no doubt. Holy Toledo, what a perfect fuckin body. She plays craps and rolls double 5’s every time. HARD 10, HARD 10, HARD 10. I’m mesmerized.

Ok lets move back to, Who Surfed Better?

I’m gonna have to give this one to JJ… Why you ask? He paddles hard, pops up quicker than my little D watching Beyonce perform, and his stance is perfect. Guy isn’t fuckin around. Beyonce is simply swinging those fine hips of hers back and forth, which is fine with me, but that isn’t even close to good form Yonce.

JJ Watt +1

Beyonce + whatever the fuck she wants because she’s Queen B

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By: Dago Joe