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NHL Break

In less than 48 hours, the USA hockey team will take on Slovakia, and I can’t wait. This NHL break is killing me. Without hockey, I’m like a pet without an owner. Simply lost. I feel like Shadow did when Peter ditched him to go to Canada in Homeward Bound 2…

…Sad, Angry, Lost, Frustrated, and Forgotten.

I’ve been hockey-less since this past Friday when the Sharks beat the Blue Jackets at home. The Sharks went into the break with a 2 game winning streak after their OT win against the Stars on Wednesday, February 5th. Tommy Wingels’ top shelf winning goal was awesome and I love beating Dallas as much as I love beating LA. That was a bold statement, I take that back. I can’t fuckin stand LA. I hate the Kings and I hate the fact that I have to cheer for Dustin Brown and Jonathan Quick in a couple of days. Kings fans might be the biggest jokes in all of sports. There is a reason that “bandwagon” appears on google search after typing in “LA Kings fans”.

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However, they aren’t as douchey as Canucks fans. Canucks fans suck the most. Such obnoxious assholes. The Canucks’ fans almost took over the Tank when the Sharks lost to the Canucks in the 2011 Conference Finals. How this happened, I don’t know. But, they were loud and they loved to argue as much as I did. When we got knocked out, all I wanted to do is punch one of them square in the jaw and watch his knees buckle below him before he cracked his head open on the pavement and began to bleed out. Too far? The Sharks ended up doing that for me when they swept the Canucks this past playoffs. This brings me to another player I can’t stand cheering for. Ryan Kessler. That dirty little bastard. I used to hate Torres as much as I hated him, but Torres joined the good side, and Kessler is and will always be a punk.

“I’m the #1 douchiest hockey fan!”

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It is important to realize that Brown and Kessler are now playing for Team USA. After the Olympics are over, my hatred will continue. But for now, DUCKS FLY TOGETHER.

By: Dago Joe

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Ben Scrivens is standing on his head right now and might as well run for Mayor of Edmonton

Edmonton Oilers goalie, Ben Scrivens, is absolutely robbing the Sharks right now. I haven’t seen this many saves in 2 periods ever. 42 fucken saves! The guy came to play in front of his TRUE hometown crowd. He grew up in Edmonton, following in the steps of the great Grant Fuhr. The crowd even gave him a standing O in the the middle of the 2nd.

So far he’s robbed Desjardins, Nieto, Kearns, Demers, and Marleau twice, while Wingels and Thornton both dinked one off the post. Scrivens is robbing everybody. Literally everybody. He’s like the Ex-Presidents in Point Break. Robbing banks left and right. If I had to pinpoint which Ex-President he is right now, I’d say….

….REAGAN for sure…Just like Bodhi, he’s runnin the show and he isn’t fuckin around….”ELLO, ELLO, ELLO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

Fuck you respectably Mr. Scrivens. F.U.

Sincerely,

Dago Joe