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Sharks are Hot Right Now

The Sharks have won 2 out of 3 after the All Star Break, and I think it’s the best hockey they’ve been playing since the beginning of the year. With Couture or “Cooch” (as Joe Pa called him in a post-game interview) back in the lineup and Torres finally healthy, the Sharks are a scary team right now. 20-year-old stud, Tomas Hertl skated lightly at practice recently for the first time since December and his return is questionable. Eat Shit Dustin Brown.

In the first game after the break, Pavelski skated alongside Burns and Thornton and added his second hat-trick of the season. Torres scored 2 himself, and man did he look solid. He’s back to flying around the ice and setting himself up for golden opportunities. It’s great to see Torres back and capitalizing when given the chances. Couture added 2 goals as well and was robbed of a hat trick by the refs. They reviewed the goal for seriously 10 minutes and any person who has clear vision in both of their eyes could call that a goal. Shit, you could be half-blind and call that a goal. The puck was a foot over the line and the refs called it no goal probably because the score was 7-2 at the time and the game was in Philly. American goalie, Alex Stalock, had a great game in between the pipes and although Niemi didn’t start any games for Finland in the Olympics, he certainly needed some rest.

Talk about the King of redirection…

After Philly, they traveled to Buffalo and for some reason we can never beat the Sabres. It doesn’t make sense to me. They have our number and they don’t lose to us. The tables may turn now that they traded away the heart of their team. They traded Ryan Miller and Steve Ott to the Blues 30 minutes before the game in exchange for Jaroslav Halak, Chris Stewart, prospect William Carrier, a 2015 first rounder, and another conditional pick. I can’t believe they still beat us even without Miller in net. Anti Niemi had a bad game and was probably still hungover form partying in Sochi. The Sabres won 4-2, snapping the Sharks win streak and adding 3 consecutive wins themselves. With Miller in St. Louis, the Sharks will have to get through him and Jonathan Quick to get to the Cup.

The Sharks won their 5th game out of 6 after beating the Devils yesterday. Who scored the first 2 for the Sharks? Couture and Torres both in the 2nd. Tick-tack-Torres…


The game was tied after 2 and both Nieto and  Patty Marleau found the net to send us back to San Jose victorious. Alex Stalock finished with 21 tough saves, stopping 3 breakaways and variety of close-range shots, while The Big Pavelski added 2 assists. It was weird seeing Ryan Clowe in red and white, but it made sense because his performance was subpar. The Sharks take on the Hurricanes at home tomorrow night and sit at 2nd in the Pacific with 84 points behind the Ducks with 91.

By: Dago Joe


Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame 2014

1. Tony LaRussa, A’s manager 1986-1995


2. Owen Nolan, Sharks Captain 1998-2003


3. Jim Hines, 2-time Olympic Gold Medalist

4. Bob Lurie, Giants Owner 1976-1993

5. Bob Ladoucer, De LA Salle Coach,151-straight wins

All 5 of these Bay Area legends will be inducted on May 7, and two months later, Tony will join Cooperstown. I can say that I grew up watching Tony and the A’s, and Owen Nolan, while I witnessed De La Salle RB/LB DJ Williams run over SoCal squids from Mater Dei under coach Ladoucer. The other two, well, congrats. Tony LaRussa led the A’s to 3 straight World Series from 1988-1990. Losing to the Dodgers and Reds, he won the 1989 title in the Battle of the Bay Series over the Giants. The 1989 earthquake at The Stick was absolutely crazy and may or may not have helped the A’s out. Regardless, Tony was a great manager, and as his years progressed with the A’s, he had to deal with winning on a low budget (as does every A’s manager). The A’s are now broker than Vince Young, well not that broke, but close. The Coliseum is a dump and they really need to get the A’s outta Oakland. In the last season, the Coliseum flooded with sewage 3 different times:

The bigger issue, though, was in the A’s coaches’ shower and bathroom area, where sewage tends to back up during storms. The runoff drains and pipes to the coaches’ room apparently cross at one point, leading to semiannual problems, plus the playing field is 22 feet below sea level and the clubhouse is 13 feet below.

On Saturday, that meant a flood in the coaches’ bathroom and showers.

“It’s flowing like lava,” catcher Kurt Suzuki said. “The sound it makes is amazing.”

At one point, sewage was flowing out of the faucets, Suzuki said.

One A’s employee said it sounds as if the plumbing is “possessed” when sewage starts coming back up. “Glub, glub, glub,” he said.

“This is bad,” coach Mike Gallego said, shaking his head.

It was the third time this season the Coliseum has had sewage issues; the A’s and Mariners had to share the Raiders’ locker room to shower in June when flooding rendered both teams’ clubhouses unusable, and at the start of this homestand, the A’s dugout was flooded after a toilet backed up.

Is this a third world country for fuck sake? These guys are major league baseball players! Get em a new stadium. NOW. If I was Tony, I woulda left Oakland too. The place is a dump and they need to get the A’s a new stadium.

With that said, I don’t want the Raiders to move. Tailgates in the Coliseum parking lot are awesome and so is watching football in that dump. Football is meant to be played in a stadium like that. I am still in shock that the Niners are moving to Santa Clara. The City moved one of the most historic teams in the country to Santa Clara…Santa Clara? The fans will be tailgating with wine and cheese and during the game they will be tweeting on their iPads about how cool they are because they are at a football game. “Yay Niners, yay #Ninersaresocool #Ilovefootball #imadouchebagtweetingduringafootballgame.” All of the peninsula techy nerds are going to ruin the Niners fan base (well not ruin it, but geek it up). Sucks for them. #RaiderNation.

That was a bit of a tangent but that needed to be said.  “Take it easy man.”

Moving onto Owen Nolan. Perhaps one of the greatest Sharks of all time. Everyone who has loved the Sharks as long as I have remembers Owen and The Tuck. He rocked The Tuck better than anyone.owen4

I’ll never forget his years under Daryl Sutter and his teammates: Jeff Friesen, Tony Granato, Mike Vernon, Vinny Damphousse, and of course, Mike Ricci. Ricci was the best workhorse on the team and he defined the hockey smile….


…and he definitely didn’t have a hard time getting the ladies.

What was great about Nolan is that he was a tough sonovabitch. He loved to hit and he certainly wasn’t afraid to fight. There aren’t too many Captains similar to Nolan these days.

And for the record, fuck Eddie Belfour…


Hey Eddie, don’t fight the hotel security when you have a hooker in your room! Pepper spray looks good on you…

                           PORTRAIT OF A SCUMBAGeddie1eddie3 

When Owen announced his retirement in 2012, he was ranked 71st on the NHL list of career goals, 33rd in power play goals, and 100th in points.owen5

He will always be remembered as one of the toughest and most skilled Sharks of all time. Thanks for the great years and Happy 42nd birthday, Owen! And lets not forget when he called his goal for a hat trick in the 1997 All Star Game on his home ice.

Cited: Susan Slusser              <—–Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

By: Dago Joe

NHL Break

In less than 48 hours, the USA hockey team will take on Slovakia, and I can’t wait. This NHL break is killing me. Without hockey, I’m like a pet without an owner. Simply lost. I feel like Shadow did when Peter ditched him to go to Canada in Homeward Bound 2…

…Sad, Angry, Lost, Frustrated, and Forgotten.

I’ve been hockey-less since this past Friday when the Sharks beat the Blue Jackets at home. The Sharks went into the break with a 2 game winning streak after their OT win against the Stars on Wednesday, February 5th. Tommy Wingels’ top shelf winning goal was awesome and I love beating Dallas as much as I love beating LA. That was a bold statement, I take that back. I can’t fuckin stand LA. I hate the Kings and I hate the fact that I have to cheer for Dustin Brown and Jonathan Quick in a couple of days. Kings fans might be the biggest jokes in all of sports. There is a reason that “bandwagon” appears on google search after typing in “LA Kings fans”.


However, they aren’t as douchey as Canucks fans. Canucks fans suck the most. Such obnoxious assholes. The Canucks’ fans almost took over the Tank when the Sharks lost to the Canucks in the 2011 Conference Finals. How this happened, I don’t know. But, they were loud and they loved to argue as much as I did. When we got knocked out, all I wanted to do is punch one of them square in the jaw and watch his knees buckle below him before he cracked his head open on the pavement and began to bleed out. Too far? The Sharks ended up doing that for me when they swept the Canucks this past playoffs. This brings me to another player I can’t stand cheering for. Ryan Kessler. That dirty little bastard. I used to hate Torres as much as I hated him, but Torres joined the good side, and Kessler is and will always be a punk.

“I’m the #1 douchiest hockey fan!”


It is important to realize that Brown and Kessler are now playing for Team USA. After the Olympics are over, my hatred will continue. But for now, DUCKS FLY TOGETHER.

By: Dago Joe

Sharks Recap

The Sharks played a tough game at home against the Blackhawks this past Saturday night, February 1st. Every time we play the hawks, players on both sides finish their hits and the high-speed, high-intensity nature makes fans think they have time traveled into June. Tied 1-1 at the end of regulation, the Sharks won in a close shootout. Jumbo Joe Thornton shook Corey Crawford out of his skates for the game-winning goal…

Thornton shook Crawford so bad that he ended up in the hospital with 2 broken ankles and is now out for the rest of the season. Cute casts, Corey…


This past Monday night, February 3, the Sharks took on the Flyers in another toughhome game. The Flyers haven’t beaten the Sharks in their last 13 match ups and haven’t won in San Jose since 1999.

1st Period: Mark Streit found the net first at 4:23, with an assist from Claude Giroux, putting philly up 1-0. At 7:33, Tommy Wingels snuck a quick pass in front of Flyers goalie, Steve Mason. Rookie Matt Nieto was on the receiving end and buried it on a one-timer. Two fast skating, young, American players tie up the score 1-1. AMERICA, FUCK YEAH! While the Flyers were quite aggressive on the forecheck, they weren’t able to capitalize after Streit’s goal, especially after Niemi stoned Giroux in the 9th minute. Moments after, Thornton found Burns deep in the Flyers zone. Burns protected the puck with his big body then dropped a dirty backhand pass to Nieto who finished strong for his 6th of the season and 2nd of the night. (2-1 Sharks).

2nd Period: The Flyers began to gain control and set the tempo of the game midway through the period. They caused the Sharks to make mistakes and outshot the Sharks 17-9, 10 minutes into the period. Flyers defenseman, Andrej Meszaros, got caught for a high stick on Brad Stuart with 4 minutes remaining in the period. In what seemed to be a goal for Burns, Flyers goalie, Mason, robbed him with a top shelf glove save. The Flyers ended the period with 45 seconds remaining in their power play. Score remains the same.

3rd Period: After the Flyers dominated the entire 2nd period, it was obvious that they were due for a goal. The Sharks killed the rest of the penalty, but the Flyers tied up the game moments after on a quick wrist shot by Matt Reid. Matt Irwin’s stick helped in defelcting the goal. I can’t STAND Iwrin. He’s too slow for the NHL, get him the hell off the ice. In the 17th minute, the Sharks failed to get the puck outta their zone, and Michael Raffl buried one off of the post to put the Flyers up 3-2. Less than a minute later, Claude Giroux smoked one past Niemi, in a shot he saves 9 out of 10 times. Niemi got pulled after letting 3 by in roughly 3 minutes. Alex Stalock came in and didn’t let any by, while the Sharks weren’t able to capitalize on 2 powerplays. Stalock lets 1 slip by with 2 minutes remaining and the Flyers win 5-2. The Flyers have now come back 10 times when they are trailing in the 3rd to win.

Joe Pavelski led the NHL in January with 12 goals and 3 game winners. The town of Plover, Wisconsin named Friday, February 7th “Joe Pavelski Day” to celebrate the Olympian’s accomplishments.


The Sharks are 1.5 point favorites over the Stars tonight at home.

By: Dago Joe

Sharks Recap

The entire world knows by now that Ben Scrivens set the post-expansion record with a 59 save shutout. I watched the entire game, and the guy deserved it. Ben stood on his head and took no prisoners. It wasn’t like these shots were easy saves. To be honest the Oilers defense was pretty shitty from the get go.

1st period: The Sharks dominated the 1st period. Out shot, out hit, and out skated the Oilers. I was really impressed by Tommy Wingels. He was flying around the ice like a mad man finishing off all of his hits, not turning the puck over, and setting up quality shots with pristine passes. Unfortunately, Scrivens came to play and robbed the Sharks on 2 separate Powerplays. In the middle of the period, Marleau lost a face-off in our zone, puck got dumped back to Oilers defenseman, Justin Schutz. Niemi gets screened, and Schutz throws it at the far corner of the net for a goal. Right before the Mike Brown and Matt Hendricks fight broke out towards the end of the period, Scrivens stoned Andrew Desjardins on a quick one timer. Then the fight broke out…

What a classic hockey fight. It looks like Hendricks was gonna completely dominate the entire fight. He had more control on his skates and he was throwing Brown around like a rag doll. Luckily, he didn’t land any of the haymakers he threw, but he still muscled Brown down to the ice. At this point, I thought Brown was as dead as Bernie Lomax in Weekend at Bernie’s. Just full blown dead, someone shoulda helped Brown up to look alive.

weekend at bernies

So how does Brown react after being manhandled to the ice?…

…Like a fuckin Man. He didn’t want to get embarrassesd. He pops up and connects with two left hooks, sending Hendricks to the ice. The first one stunned Hendricks so badly, the second one wasn’t even needed. But who’s to judge that? Brown sneaks in one more before sending him home. Hendricks left the ice with a bloody nose and most likely a minor concussion. And THAT is how its done…

2nd period: Scrivens robs Matt Nieto in the 17th minute after what seemed to be an empty net for Nieto. Scrivens then stones Kearns in the 11th with a top shelf glove save. Seconds after, he steals one from Demers and Scrivens receives a standing ovation from his hometown crowd. At this point, there was no chance of getting anything by Scrivens. Both Wingels and Thornton scraped the post and then Marleau got his pocket picked twice in a row just under two minutes remaining in the period. Scrivens finishes with 42 saves in 2 periods.

3rd period: Sharks looked like they knew they were destined to lose. They looked like Aaron Hernandez in court. Completely hopeless. Not even a sense that they had a shot of winning. Taylor Hall scored his 19th goal of the season against Niemi 6 minutes in because Justin Braun didn’t get his stick in the passing lane. Then Jordan Eberle caps off the Oilers win with the 3rd goal of the night with a couple minutes left. Oilers won the game for 2 reasons. 1. Scrivens stood on his head and set the NHL record. 2. They put bodies in froth of Niemi. They screened him all night. If the Sharks woulda screened Scrivens, once, just ONCE. They coulda got into a groove and scored a few times. Instead, the night goes down in NHL history.

The Sharks haven’t scored in the last two games after getting shutout by the Kings on Monday night 1-0. Weirdly, everyone on the Sharks got a shot on goal last night except Joe Pavelski, after having 18 goals in the past 21 games. Tonight, I feel the Big Pavelski is gonna have a great game against the Flames, Sharks win, and snap the 2 game losing streak.

By: Dago Joe

Ben Scrivens is standing on his head right now and might as well run for Mayor of Edmonton

Edmonton Oilers goalie, Ben Scrivens, is absolutely robbing the Sharks right now. I haven’t seen this many saves in 2 periods ever. 42 fucken saves! The guy came to play in front of his TRUE hometown crowd. He grew up in Edmonton, following in the steps of the great Grant Fuhr. The crowd even gave him a standing O in the the middle of the 2nd.

So far he’s robbed Desjardins, Nieto, Kearns, Demers, and Marleau twice, while Wingels and Thornton both dinked one off the post. Scrivens is robbing everybody. Literally everybody. He’s like the Ex-Presidents in Point Break. Robbing banks left and right. If I had to pinpoint which Ex-President he is right now, I’d say….

….REAGAN for sure…Just like Bodhi, he’s runnin the show and he isn’t fuckin around….”ELLO, ELLO, ELLO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

Fuck you respectably Mr. Scrivens. F.U.


Dago Joe

Sharks sign Thornton and Marleau for 3 more Years

SAN JOSE – San Jose Sharks (@SanJoseSharks) General Manager Doug Wilson announced today that forwardsJoe Thornton and Patrick Marleau have agreed to terms on three-year contract extensions. The extensions will commence on July 1, 2014 following the expiration of Thornton and Marleau’s current contracts.

Friday, 01.24.2014 / 12:46 PM / News (

Well I’m ecstatic that the Sharks made this move. Thornton and Marleau are two of the best players in the NHL and I’m pumped we have them for three more years. But can we please not get knocked out of the playoffs? PLEASE. I can’t stand this shit anymore. I want that CUP. This is OUR year, lets fucking do it boys! With that said, I can’t believe how dumb team Canada is for not putting Jumbo Joe Thornton on their team. I know they are gonna be stacked regardless, but what is their deal? The guy is a top 5 player in the league. He drops dimes like no other. He is the KING of the assist, and he will be a Hall of Famer no doubt. He also doesn’t lose a face-off. I’m not kidding he doesn’t lose a face-off.

I’d shit myself if I had to face-off with him…



So I would like to sincerely thank the FULL retard Olympic hockey coach up north. How could you not select Joe Thornton? JOE FUCKING THORNTON. The reason I’m thanking coach dumbfuck because the USA’s chances of winning have increased by a tenfold.

By: Dago Joe