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SOMF

The Oscar-nominated actress dishes with TheWrap at screening of her latest film “The Last Five Years,” co-starring Jeremy Jordan

Anna Kendrick was all smiles as a small, urgent flurry of flashbulbs popped before her, and she was quite genuinely happy to be reunited with the creative team from her upcoming film, an adaptation of the Off-Broadway musical “The Last Five Years.” But, the straight shooter that she is, Kendrick was also blunt about her recent run of musical films — and her desire to give her vocal chords a break.

“I never want to sing again, honestly. It’s hard as f-ck,” the actress, who starred on Broadway as a 12-year-old, admitted to TheWrapat a distributor screening of her film at Lincoln Center on Monday night. “The ‘Pitch Perfect’ [sequel] is going to be fine, ten girls have to be able to sing the songs so it’s going to be fine, but doing ‘The Last Five Years’ and then ‘Into the Woods’ straight away, I was like, I don’t want to have to think about my voice so much. I want to be able to drink beer whenever I want.” By Jordan Zakarin

Anna Kendrick. Wow. Talk about a straight shooter. She’s a chick I would like to be around. Wouldn’t you? You know she can drink you under the table, but you don’t care. You don’t care that she could beat your ass and you don’t care that she slaps you in the face in public for drinking like a pussy. It’s all a turn-on. And just when you think you’re cool enough to even hang out with her, you decide to ask her out. What does she do? She explodes with laughter and spits the beer in her mouth, in your face, while you sit there like a dumbass. You say, why not? She then burps so close to your mouth that you taste it, and you kinda like it, and she says, “honey, I just looked at you like one of my girlfriends. You poor thing.”

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By: Dago Joe

SOMF

Today’s winner goes to USA figure skater Ashley Wagner. You may have lost the gold but you’re still #1.

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Fourth place finisher Ashley Wagner skates during an exhibition event at the conclusion of the U.S. Figure Skating Championships in Boston

Ashley Wagner of the United States reacts in the "kiss and cry" area during the Team Ladies Short Program at the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics

“Aww WTF?!?”

By: Dago Joe

Curling Smokesmash

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Vs.

Eve Muirhead, Great Britain

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Eve wins on the cute factor and the fact that she can pull off 2 hair colors and still look smoking (she’s hotter as a brunette). On her free time, she golfs and plays the bagpipes, which are pluses.

Carmen wins on the freak factor (tongue ring), stunning green eyes, and Angelina Jolie-esque lips. She surfs too?

Carmen Schaefer wins this one. She’s naturally a smokeshow, and the fact that she doesn’t give a shit about wearing her tongue ring in the Olympics is awesome. Yes, I know it’s curling, but she’s still flaunting it, and its outright sexy on her.

Carmen, Eve, please SOMF.

By: Dago Joe

SOMF (Olympics Edition)

Today’s winner goes to Olympic Athlete, Lolo Jones. Lolo wins because she’s athletic and represents the Red, White, & Blue in both the Summer and Winter Olympics. She also has a great face, long legs, and a smoking body.

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Good luck in Sochi Lolo!

SOMF

Today’s winner goes to Australian open winner Dominika Cibulkova for having an O on the court after her victory…wOw

(0.05-0.10) I might have creamed myself a little bit…Dominika you dropped a bomb on me babay…

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So much grace….so much grace…

By: Dago Joe

SOMF (Grammy Edition)

Today’s SOMF’s winner goes to Kacey Musgraves. Congrats on winning the Grammy’s!

ABSOLUTE SMOKE

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By: Dago Joe

SOMF

Let me first define SOMF. SOMF stands for Sit on my Face, coined by my long lost uncle Robin Williams. In one of his standup comedies he is quoted for saying to a girl “I bet I could guess how much you weigh.” And she says, “How?” He replies, “If you sat on my face.”

Today’s winner goes to Instagram star, Jen Selter. Jen defines what an ass really is and she can sit on my face any day.

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By: Dago Joe