JJ Watt at the Pro Bowl…
Or Beyonce at the Grammys…
I’ve watched Beyonce’s performance about 50 times now, and she’s a hard 10 no doubt. Holy Toledo, what a perfect fuckin body. She plays craps and rolls double 5’s every time. HARD 10, HARD 10, HARD 10. I’m mesmerized.
Ok lets move back to, Who Surfed Better?
I’m gonna have to give this one to JJ… Why you ask? He paddles hard, pops up quicker than my little D watching Beyonce perform, and his stance is perfect. Guy isn’t fuckin around. Beyonce is simply swinging those fine hips of hers back and forth, which is fine with me, but that isn’t even close to good form Yonce.
JJ Watt +1
Beyonce + whatever the fuck she wants because she’s Queen B
By: Dago Joe
HALF MOON BAY, Calif. (AP) — The Mavericks surf competition off the Northern California coast is underway, and the waves have not disappointed so far. Forecasters had predicted that the mix of swell size and weather would make for faces exceeding 40 feet, and their predictions appeared to be coming true on Friday. The contest is held at one of the world’s most perilous surfing spots, which is near the San Francisco Bay Area city of Half Moon Bay. Two seasoned watermen have died there, including legendary big-wave rider Mark Foo from Hawaii in 1994. Only surfers invited to the event can participate, and the event is only held when conditions are prime. This year, invitations went out to 24 of the world’s best big wave surfers. The participants compete in groups throughout the day, with judging based on the quality of the wave, difficulty of the drop and the surfer’s performance. A winner is crowned at the end of the day.
Well these guys are absolutely fucking crazy. You can call us Californians surfer bros or whatever the fuck you want. But the moment you say we are pussies, take a look at Mavericks. Half of the guys in the competition are local and they are riding 40 ft fuckin waves (http://mavericksinvitational.com). These guys are athletes whether you want to admit it or not.
I know everyone thinks surfers are douches and all Californians surf and therefore we are douchebags. But, lets look beyond these stereotypes.
I don’t surf and I don’t think I’m sick because I am from California. But the guys riding these waves like there taking a stroll down to Golden Gate park are fuckin sick. They are far more athletic than any of us will ever be. Have some respect. The wipeouts are insane. Luckily this year they have airbags in their wetsuits to pop them back above the surface after eating shit on a 40 ft wave.
Is surfing culture douchey? YES. I can’t stand any of their lingo. But, I do respect these guys for what they do.
Top 5 Point Break Quotes
1. “Vaya con Dios”- Johnny Utah
2. “I know you want me so bad, it’s like ass in your mouth.”-Bodhi
3. “It’s basic dog psychology.”-Bodhi
4. “Utah! Get me two!”-Pappas
5. “The correct term is babes, sir.”-Johnny Utah
By: Dago Joe